The older I get the more it disturbs me how easily people make assumptions about other people. For example, people often think I’m a certain type of a person because I like tattoos. Or that I’m stereotypically something just because of my age or gender or because I’m a mother. It’s not that way in reality, of course.
The biggest effect motherhood has had on me is the tremendous love I feel in my heart. It has also effects on my actions because I want my sons to feel safe, loved and taken care of. However, it hasn’t had an effect on my style or my taste and it hasn’t even changed me as a person as much as I imagined it would. I’m still not a practical person and even I adore my boys I’m not very patient with children in general.
I’m a little bit rebellious by nature so fighting against this kind of stereotypical thinking gives me a lot of pleasure. I show my tattoos if I feel like doing it even I know the company I’m in might think tattoos are trashy. I don’t think they are trashy. For me it’s body art and I like my tattoos, they represent everything what’s important to me. I mix them with really neutral looking clothes because that’s my style, I don’t aim to shock or want attention with my clothes.
I openly tell that I’ve stayed at home with my kids since they were born and that I haven’t had a paid job since that even I know that after hearing that people won’t think very highly of me. Our society measures everything in money. Not earning it means being worth nothing. I can’t change that but I won’t strengthen this thinking either by apologizing my life style choices or decisions especially as I’m happy with them. Things are well because of those decisions.
Also, being sensitive or emotional seems to mean the person isn’t capable of logical thinking. I can clearly see my opinion has more weight when I pretend I don’t care or have any strong emotions. That’s absurd and I refuse to play along with that and rather be honest because we all have the right to be who we are (even sensitive and emotional).
There’s no way to describe how many assumptions are done according to our looks and how we dress, what we buy and what labels we are connected to. We can guide these assumptions to the direction we want and make them positive and useful for us. Whoever likes can consciously brand themselves and be connected to stuff they want to be defined by. Companies take advantage of this giving promises and selling images and consumers are happy to pay and the system goes on.
I have tried all that (and I still sometimes do) and I know it doesn’t work as promised. Stuff I buy can’t change me any better – not for real – and if it makes someone like me it’s for all the wrong reasons. Gives me childish satisfaction not to do it. I can have less and very basic things and that way offer less material for assumptions. Brings me pleasure to make my own decisions, to buy something when I need it, to choose things I genuinely like.